Saturday, August 29, 2015

5 Reasons to Live Every Week Like it's Shark Week!

This is more than an excuse for me to play with and then consume stunning volumes of shark gummies. I swear. But... I totally did that. 

This weekend, IT'S SHARK WEEK REDUX! Or, as Discovery Channel has awesomely dubbed it, "Shweekend." Shark week has so much to teach us it needs a part deux, and it's this weekend!

And so...

5 Reasons to Live Every Week Like it's Shark Week!

1. Shark week reminds us life is short. 

Seriously, because those magnificent bastards are absolutely petrifying.

It's so easy to let yourself be held back by fear (like, of sharks maybe), to tell yourself you'll finally go for [insert lifelong dream] next month, or next year. But you never know what tomorrow will bring. So take the adventure, say yes to the enormously wonderful, terrifying things in front of you (unless they're trying to bite your face off) and LIVE. Do it now. Call the person you can't stop thinking about. Do the forgiving. Buy the shoes. EAT SO MANY BAGELS. See every castle still standing on the planet. Drink a glass of wine on every continent. Dive in, have a fucking blast, and remember how amazing it is that you're on this planet to begin with.

 The same planet as this thing:

Out of all of the things, including this thing, you got to be a human. That's pretty fucking rad. 

2. Sharks don't sweat the small stuff, they just eat it. 

They don't care what other sharks think about them. And they DEFINITELY don't care what you think of them.

Maybe that's why they freaking GLOW, National Geographic. Maybe that's the real reason. SCIENCE!

Instead of living a life plagued by giving a damn what the neighbors/your judgy cousin/the world-at-large/your ex-boyfriend/the guy in the yacht might think, wouldn't you rather just do you? Because that's when you're at your best. That's when life is at its most remarkable.

And then this happens...

And you can't NOT be happy. 


3. Shark week Reminds us of the beauty of the world we live in.
Because sharks live here...

That is all.

4. Shark week teaches us respect. 

You never know what's going on beneath the surface-- of the water/ a person/ a situation.

We could all do well to remember that more often.

This lady, for instance, is here to teach you about respecting the Shark's house.


5. These things would not exist without sharks, in all of their glory.

These Shark Tooth Studs that I've been living in...
This Rose Gold and Diamond Shark Tooth-Inspired babe...

They probably saw a shark. Or 9,000. This Micro Scrimshaw Ivory Ship Ring circa 1790, surrounded by garnets and killing me slowly. Is it the most amazing thing ever? Perhaps.

Shark Jaw Necklace. It's on'y a partial jaw. It can't eat you.

And of course, this post would not be complete without a mention of this cinematic classic:

So take a leap, swim into the fear, eat all of the little things (like, candy, not people... ya big weirdo), let your pearly whites shine at each other, maybe watch Sharknado, and try not to bite.

Go forth, and live every week like it's Shark Week!!!



Thursday, March 19, 2015

The Thaw

I've been busy with all kinds of living, hibernating, and magic making. But tomorrow is the first day of Spring, and it's time to write again!
Winter, you were a crazy, wonderful, frigid ass bitch. Now gtfo, xoxo.
(It snowed 4,000 inches this day.)

The snow has melted.

Have you ever looked at a sidewalk square and thought, "this is the single greatest thing I've ever seen!"? I love it-- bootprints and gum splotches and cracks where sand peeks through -- because its appearance means the most exciting thing ever: WINTER IS FINALLY FREAKIN' OVER. Yay!

To give dues, this winter was actually  awesome. It was so full, and busy, and happy, and gray. Cold as balls, but love-filled; arctic, but impressive. It was spotted with trips down to the stunning park where M & I are going to throw a party in which we consume questionable amounts of steak and martinis and then try to dance, and also get married (OH MY GOD). Having a beautiful respite in winter, when one finds herself in a city turned charcoal-sludge-gray by its daily motion, is seriously nourishing. It's amazing to visit a place with signs of life available to peruse. I love you, eagles & trees!

What really made this winter bearable: THESE BOOTS!!!!!!
Also this winter: I developed an exclamation point overuse issue.

My other getaway: giving a tiki party for some of my very favorite people on the planet, and drinking out of pineapple cups. Which, let's be real, just because Tiki Time is over doesn't mean I have not been drinking out of them still. Can you blame me? That shit is multi-seasonal.

You guys, drinking out of these makes everything so much better. IT JUST DOES.

There were snowstorms that pounded, monolith heaps of slush formed at the roadside, about 9 billion tons of snow buried my very tiny car. The shit show that is "dibs" littered the often unsuitable parking spaces in our neck of the woods with lawn chairs, sawhorses, neon carnival toys, TVs from the early 90s, and terrifying holiday decorations. During a 19" snowfall from which we were all warned to keep indoors, we trekked to a doughnut shop and found it brimming (WINTER CAN'T STOP DOUGHNUTS). Every time I got stuck in the snow, someone stepped up to help me out. I love this city.


Other things that rocked this winter: my coat. I love you, coat. But not as much as I love the fact that I SAW GRASS TODAY!  I also got my hair stuck in, like, 3 trees (congratulations to anyone who witnessed this). So maybe I forgot what it's like to be tall without a hood on. I am not complaining. What's a couple of branches tangled with my dome-piece next to WINTER FOREVER?

I loved you, winter in Chicago, full of wedding-planning and working and laughing and septum-piercing and adventuring and freaking out that the snow might never go away because OHMYGAWD it kept falling, and honeymoon booking, and wine drinking, and house re-decorating, and plant not-killing (this is a really big deal!), and dreaming, and freezing, and blogging a little at work, and laughing a whole hell of a lot. But one more day in the negatives, and I would've been taking my pasty ass to Barcelona until further notice.

Places I will actually be taking my pasty ass: Puerto Rico (yay honeymoon)!!! Because rainforest. And because ocean. And more importantly, because being lazy as hell on a rooftop with M. and soaking up some much needed sunshine. 

Heelllooooo Spring!!! 

Here's to packing away the winter coats, figuring out transitional dressing, piling on the pastels, and rolling in endless meadows of glorious flowers (because that's what's going to happen now, right?). 

It's good to be back. <3

Kisses, chickens!


Monday, October 6, 2014

It's Fall and I'm in love!

...with this leather jacket + bootie combination. 

 Every day is better when I look down and this is my footwear situation.
These {booties} are the greatest thing ever. Seriously, though. EVER.

Guys, it's officially FALL! I know the first day of fall was supposedly a while ago, but today is one of the the first days there are gathered leaves on the ground, it's a beautiful Chicago October, and I'm starting fall today. So obviously I just want to crawl inside the pages of Vogue and make myself at home in a Dolce & Gabbana campaign/fairytale-worthy brocades/fursandfursandfurs with a pile of doughnuts, a latte, a million pumpkin flavored things, and wear leopard print hair calf booties everyday. Because that's how everybody feels about fall. Right? Amiright??!!

I've got the booties bit down. Fursandfursandfurs, forthcoming?

I spent September distracted by the various fashion weeks' street style Instagram happenings, lavender tea, the existence of Nerds Ropes (LIFE = CHANGED), celebrating our first anniversary at work, and moving through the following stages of mourning (summer).

1. Panicking because the polar vortex is imminent.

2. Shopping for things that will make the polar vortex more bearable, such as shiny pants (oh waxed skinnies, you da best!), colorful everything, and fuzzy slippers. Or this... I really want this.

3. Preparing for the colder months by justifying the purchase of ALL of the booties, furry things, a taxidermy purse (that's another post to come...), winter boots, cozy sheepskin rugs, and piles of every Thai noodle thing. 

4. Soaking up every last warm night outside and eating way too much Halloween candy (looking at you, peanut butter Snickers, you irresistible little bastards), and wine.

5. Painting my apartment bright ass colors because HOLY GRAY WINTER, CHICAGO.

6. Getting over it because yay October/ fall fashion/ spaghetti squash/ apples/ pumpkins/ sweater weather. TIME FOR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.

I am incredibly excited for October! It helps that the weather here in Chicago is bright and clear, and I'm super pumped because M. has agreed to dress up for Halloween this year. THIS IS A BIG DEAL, PEOPLE.

New Favorite $10 Tee (TALL GIRLS! THIS!)

 I want to celebrate by wearing all of the lizard & leopard things and frolicking through cornfields and Maine woods. I am celebrating by getting back to the bench and making some jewelry (the best way to spend any day). Nothing more rejuvenating to the soul than sitting down and sawing and firing some metal (to emerge covered in a delicious coat of silver dust, wax, and polishing filth, with a new creation that I hopefully did not melt and can maybe bear to part with but probably not because all of the rings should be my rings...)! Sound gross? You should totally try it. Spa day for the spirit. 

Also, sometimes you end up with a necklace like this one (which is hiding somewhere beneath my jacket in these photos ^^^):

I'm obsessed, I think I need to make more of these. Antlers FTW!

These are the most comfortable shoes. I'm in love with them. I am tempted to buy another pair so that, should they perish in some tragic future, I could spare myself the turmoil of  bereavement and slip into pair #2 unfazed. I just want to curl up with them next to a warm fire-- a couple mugs of hot (spiked) apple cider at hand and a stupid amount of "Don't Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23" on Netflix. 

I'm excited to see what October brings, and to wear these shoes pretty much every day until salt and snow show up... Then I'll just wear them inside. 

Happy October, chickens!



Saturday, September 13, 2014

Altuzarra Does Target

Altuzarra's Target collaboration is coming at you tomorrow. I [everyone] will be needing this jacket..
Target is a really dangerous place, you guys. I can go in there for a $4 silverware organizer and spend $100, leaving with all kinds of things I didn't even know I needed! Thanks, Target! I know you've gone in for mouthwash and left with a flat screen. That's not the only way they work their magic, though. I've been a big fan of their designer collaborations, and I'm particularly excited for their Altuzarra line to be released to the masses on the 14th. Maybe there is an alarm set in my phone to remind me to hop on their website this weekend. Maybe.

I'm digging the orchid print.

The lookbook is pretty delicious, full of slinky fabrics and reimagined staples, and plenty of versatile pieces for any work-to-streetwear wardrobe. A little bit sexpot with skirt slits and snakeskin, but classic and feminine with tailoring and soft floral elements. I will be web-stalking a few pieces for sure.

I get excited about pieces that I can throw on after I oversleep and still show up at work looking like I do not live in a gutter. This dress is one of those pieces. Oh, how I love two-fers. This is a fun twist on the blazer, too!

There's something magical about being able to snag runway-worthy garments, paper towels, packaging tape and microwave popcorn all in one go. Not saying it's glamorous, exactly (not at all), but it's kinda badass.

My inner Golden Girl says yes OHMYGOD YES to this sweater.

Looking forward to seeing the Target-uzarra happenings. It's going to be awesome.

Put it on the calendar, chickadees!



photos courtesy of  Altuzarra for Target Lookbook.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Harem Pants & Elvis

The King has some words of wisdom for us, chickens. Look at Priscilla, ladies. Take a page outta her book. She's some kinda woman. Don't hate your hips, don't hide 'em. Love 'em tender!
These words are imaginary, and I made them up, but still. He'd probably say that.   

So, harem pants are one of my favorite things. I love them. I started wearing them a few years ago when I was taking yoga lessons (on an island, in a sun-filled room tucked away above the Atlantic... my college campus was unbelievable) from this dread-locked goddess who seemed to move with an impossible fluidity. Shoulders to the ground, feet to the sky, heart wide open, and the most lively excess of fabric in the crotch of her pants. I found the style enchanting. She called them by a name I can't remember, had picked them up by the armful in India, and carried them off with the perfect balance of exotic comfort and daring charm.

They've been peppering my wardrobe since then, which was maybe 4 years ago. Never at work, and often poorly received by the general public and my grandparents in specific. But this has meant, for the love of harem pants, finding fun and different ways to style them.

Elvis also approves of my blue suede shoes. I love the pop of color they add to these pants.

The other day, sunshine and beefcake fiancé in tow, I had fun pairing them with a white cami, gold belt, blue suede shoes and a blue bag. Add delicious pearl earrings, and done.

Oh, how I love them. Instant elevators. 

The greatest thing about this: the shape! I believe in curves, I believe in celebrating what I've got. And what you've got. And having finally reached a place in my life where I'm pretty happy about and comfortable with actually having hips, I'm excited to look at an image like this and think, GIRL, WORK IT, instead of, YEAH, LET'S SEE HOW WE CAN HIDE THOSE. It's liberating (so is wearing harem pants, in general). I like feeling like there's a touch of bombshell/ absence of camouflage. 

Guys, I really love these shoes. So I stare at them longingly. And everybody loves a metallic belt. Jewelry for your waist! I'm also really curious about this sidewalk, if we're being real. I can only hope this is a sign that Ninja Turtles really do exist. 

I actually wore this pair to work last week, high-waisted over a black tank, and my boss was into it (it should be mentioned that she is more stylish and fabulous than the average bear). I am super happy to be able to work them into a professional wardrobe. I'm still experimenting. And later in the day, when we realized that sitting at my desk all day with my legs bent had stretched the knees of my pants out to reveal a flappy bulge mid-leg when I stood, I discovered my new favorite faux pas: KNEE NIPPLES. It looked like my legs had sprouted udders. I proceeded to play at milking them, because why not, and I'm still laughing about it. Gross. Ha.

Apparently I can only stand in this exact pose while wearing this oufit. Later in the evening, we stumbled across a stretch of a kid's sidewalk chalk art. Good job kid. keep on coloring the world. This snake was actually kind of awesome and went on forever. And this makes me think of MC Hammer. Everybody wins!

I'll let you know if I ever figure out how to combat Knee Nipples or discover the black-tie appropriate harem pant. Anything is possible.

Work it, chickadees.



Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Lazybird Style: Vol. I

The Jumpsuit.

Running my mouth about something awesome, probably. Happy September, chickens!

Let's be real, some days you roll out of bed and want to put zero effort into your look, or you just don't have the time. This summer has been so crazy busy for me (full of great things, I'm not complaining!) the time crunch has been the case for me on plenty of occasions. My solution: I've worn easy, versatile pieces like this jumpsuit (about a zillion times). To fancypants dinners with heels and serious bling, on date night with leopard booties and a snakeskin bag, out for burgers and draanks with bright flats and a red lip. It's crazy comfortable, and it makes me feel a little bit like a disco pimp, which is obviously a plus.


I was super hesitant to try out the whole jumpsuit thing. I had a German teacher in high school whose wardrobe consisted entirely of uber-tight jersey jumpsuits in quite possibly the worst patterns of all time. Props for being fashion forward, Frau! The shape of this jumpsuit feels contemporary, and it comes in various lengths-- hooray for being tall as fuck and still finding things that fit me! 

The drawstring highlights the goods, and gives a bit of extra room about the tummy, should you want it. For me, any outfit that says, "It's cool, eat all of the food, you will still be comfortable," is my friend. And after this photo was taken, I ate like three dinners. I highly recommend the practice. 

I was really surprised that wearing a jumpsuit didn't give me old lady ass. Can you tell that M. took this picture?

Red flats, rolled pant legs, and a snakeskin bag FTW. Comfy chic, ready in 5 minutes.

Also, this jumpsuit is awesome if you happen to be covered in 1,000 fucking mosquito bites (which I was, here, because yay outside...) and don't want to go out with meth-head legs. I'm happy I'll be able to transition this into fall, too. Just throw a tailored blazer over it, hop into some ankle boots, and BAM. Done. Or, two birds-- toss a bright sweater over the top and rock a pseudo harem pants look with a pointed kitten heel. The possibilities, people!

This smile is courtesy of the fact that I feel like I am wearing pajamas, AND I LOVE IT. 

Here's to easy style, a beautiful end of the summer, and the beginning of what is going to be THE GREATEST SEPTEMBER EVER. 



Sunday, August 31, 2014


It's been rainy here in Chicago, meteorologists have been totally off their game (I know, I know, climate change is wacky, but I NEED YOU TO HELP ME DRESS MYSELF TOM SKILLING), and I've been struggling to deal with the fact that winter is eventually coming back to Chicago. Polar Vortex flashbacks... WHY GOD WHY.

I spent a couple of days feeling super blue about it. I always have a bit of heartache at the end of the summer season (not that it's really gone, yet)-- it's that little creeping feeling of the fun coming to an end. But really, we make our own fun, don't we? Seasons change, and especially here in Chicago, winter is going to happen (I am coming to terms with this by getting excited about furry thangs and boots, I fucking love boots. All of the boots.). So a couple of mornings ago I got up, and when I looked out the window into the gray haze/ tail of summer, I decided to make some fucking lemonade. 

This necklace is one of my favorite things (so is my back porch, and this antique oriental rug...). Instantly dresses up anything. I've worn it out dancing in Vegas, with a grey tee and jeans, to a black tie wedding, and...
When I met the monkey from The Hangover a few years back. He was really into it.
This necklace is from a zillion years ago... but this one is its beautiful bastard child. And, it's on sale through Labor Day!

I embraced my lemons. If I'm going to be a little tart about things, I might as we'll be bright fucking yellow as well... Don't ya think? I think. And the citrus bit has been one of my favorite trends this summer, after all. I love anything in fashion that demands you check your pretension at the door. Check it. 

I can't not smile when I'm wearing these! I am pocket-obsessed, too, which these are awesome for. I love when I CAN ACTUALLY PUT MY HANDS INTO POCKETS. None of this decorative coin pocket bullshit. REAL, hand-worthy pockets. It just seems to make the world turn more smoothly, you know? Pockets are some powerful shit. 

A little citrus, a little sparkle, a couple of comments from strangers/clients/passersby re: how gawdy my necklace is (I prefer the term AWESOMESAUCE) and the smile my lemons put on their faces, and voila. Lemonade!

I like my lemonade three ways: sour, alcoholic, and metaphorical. 

Summer, I hate to see you leave... But when there's fruit on your ass, I love to watch you go. 

Happy summer's end, chickens!