Travel Essentials.
Booties Hat (with feather because YES) Daddy's by Lindsay Hunter. Mine is signed, "Happy Birthday, ya old ass bitch!" LOVE. Sunnies |
Today, I met the first gal of the summer who looked pastier
than me. Her name was Sugar, and she seemed like kind of a bitch. We may well
have been the same skin tone; perhaps she a bit more yellow, and I a mite more
pinkish. Sugar, for the record, is an albino alligator. And I, for the record,
am on the first real vacation I’ve taken in almost two years, in the loving
arms of the Zydeco-soundtracked, swamp-creature-eating, opulent mecca that is New Orleans. And I’ve finally gotten a little color.
I could not love this place more. I just could not. |
It’s been a busy summer, and I’ve spent most of my time
indoors during daylight hours. I love the sun—LOVE IT—and not being able to get
out and play (even though I love my job and I work with the greatest people
ever) has been a pain in the ass. I
didn’t realize how badly I needed a vacation (a break, and a new adventure) until
we arrived here in New Orleans, my fiancé and I.
Even though I’ve been daydreaming about putting my feet up
on the balcony railings of our second story townhouse rental (SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS, IT’S PINK ON THE OUTSIDE AND EVERYTHING
INSIDE IS GILDED AND ANTIQUE. THEY’RE GONNA HAVE TO PRY ME OUT OF HERE WITH THE
JAWS OF LIFE. AND THOSE JAWS WILL BE WEARING A SWEET ASS GRILL THAT HAS NOLA BURNISHED INTO ITS SURFACE. WITH
DIAMONDS.), cold glass (let’s be real—bottle!) of Sauvingon Blanc in my hand
and a seven month backlog of Vogue
that I’ve not had a chance to get to at my disposal, I just didn’t realize how
dire the need was.
When the door to the apartment looks like this... You know there's something good inside. |
Heaven, though. Just... heaven. And everything is metallic gold. Eeverywhere. |
Now that I sit here,
nested in the height of an ancient ivy-clad oak, I wonder when the last time was that I really relaxed. Like, really
relaxed. I can’t remember.
Aaahhhhh.... Finally chilling the hell out. This green juice is my attempt at detoxing. Because alcohol. A lot of it. |
Now, here I am. I feel feather-light, and tension is
removing itself from my body in places I didn’t even realize it could dwell.
It’s fucking amazing, for serious. I’m realizing I’ve barely taken any time for
myself for far too long a stretch. I’ve gotten up each day, walked the pooches,
tried to make myself look presentable (even though I have overslept through 5
alarms and am in a tremendous hurry, so there’s probably mascara on my cheeks
and Chihuahua hair on my pants, sorry boss lady), rushed off to work, and come
home exhausted to collapse in a pile of Thai take-out and online window
shopping. And also Vampire TV shows that are marketed at an age group much
younger than M. and I (shut up, you like them too).
Full disclosure: I’m not wearing a bra. I’m on vacation. I
don’t fucking have to. My hair is in the greatest nest of a topknot and bundled
with a black bandana I’ve worn Aunt-Jemima-style for fifteen years (I say "Aunt-Jemima-style," because I really wanted her to dress me when I was a little one. So, she wins.). I’m
relishing the giant black Karen Walker Sunnies that are devouring most of my
face (and let’s be honest with ourselves, I have a big fucking face, so these
are some impressively large shades), I am wearing the romper equivalent of sweatpants, and I’m
listening to the cackling of the neighborhood hens on the sidewalk. Talking
about dudes, talking about love, talking about pork rinds and where to buy
weed. Oh, Chickens. And I haven’t felt this happy in nine million years. I’m
thrilled to recharge, to reconnect with the awesomeness that is me when cared
for, and to bring it all back home to rock out my daily responsibilities with a
brighter light and a rested, sharpened mind. Also, a “tan,” which really just
means a sunburn that I really enjoyed getting. I have a widow's peak tan line, which is just impressive. Sorry I’m killing you, skin
cells. We’ll discuss our melanoma situation when we get to it. Just kidding.
Sort of.
So this is me, imploring you all to GET THE FUCK OUT AND
TAKE A GODDAMN VACATION. Do something wonderful for yourself. Go SOMEWHERE.
Turn off your damn phone. Drink a Bloody Mary the size of a bowling ball (which
I did, last night, from which point awesomeness ensued and I went nuts on
Bourbon Street like the semi-tourist I am), pick your poison, I don’t care.
Then turn your phone back on again, and try to insta-capture the drunk ass
you’ve made of yourself. Good job.
Said Bloody Mary... Bigger than my face. |
You’re all amazing, chickadees. Seriously, monstrously
fucking rad. But you’ve got to take a little time to do you, whenever you can,
or you start to disappear into the monotony of making ends meet on the daily.
And, so do I. Otherwise, that remarkable, soul-stirring YOU-ness starts to fade
into the walls. And we can’t have that. No, we cannot.
BOOK A FUCKING FLIGHT. Do it right now.
When I'm loving life, seems to love me back <3 |
Love from NOLA!
-Ash