5 Reasons to Live Every Week Like it's Shark Week!

This is more than an excuse for me to play with and then consume stunning volumes of shark gummies. I swear. But... I totally did that. 

This weekend, IT'S SHARK WEEK REDUX! Or, as Discovery Channel has awesomely dubbed it, "Shweekend." Shark week has so much to teach us it needs a part deux, and it's this weekend!


And so...

5 Reasons to Live Every Week Like it's Shark Week!

1. Shark week reminds us life is short. 

Seriously, because those magnificent bastards are absolutely petrifying.

It's so easy to let yourself be held back by fear (like, of sharks maybe), to tell yourself you'll finally go for [insert lifelong dream] next month, or next year. But you never know what tomorrow will bring. So take the adventure, say yes to the enormously wonderful, terrifying things in front of you (unless they're trying to bite your face off) and LIVE. Do it now. Call the person you can't stop thinking about. Do the forgiving. Buy the shoes. EAT SO MANY BAGELS. See every castle still standing on the planet. Drink a glass of wine on every continent. Dive in, have a fucking blast, and remember how amazing it is that you're on this planet to begin with.

 The same planet as this thing:

Out of all of the things, including this thing, you got to be a human. That's pretty fucking rad. 

2. Sharks don't sweat the small stuff, they just eat it. 

They don't care what other sharks think about them. And they DEFINITELY don't care what you think of them.

Maybe that's why they freaking GLOW, National Geographic. Maybe that's the real reason. SCIENCE!

Instead of living a life plagued by giving a damn what the neighbors/your judgy cousin/the world-at-large/your ex-boyfriend/the guy in the yacht might think, wouldn't you rather just do you? Because that's when you're at your best. That's when life is at its most remarkable.

And then this happens...

And you can't NOT be happy. 

...WHAT.

3. Shark week Reminds us of the beauty of the world we live in.

Because sharks live here...

That is all.

4. Shark week teaches us respect. 

You never know what's going on beneath the surface-- of the water/ a person/ a situation.

We could all do well to remember that more often.

This lady, for instance, is here to teach you about respecting the Shark's house.

BECAUSE THAT IS HIS HOUSE, DAMN IT.

5. These things would not exist without sharks, in all of their glory.

These Shark Tooth Studs that I've been living in...

This Rose Gold and Diamond Shark Tooth-Inspired babe...

They probably saw a shark. Or 9,000. This Micro Scrimshaw Ivory Ship Ring circa 1790, surrounded by garnets and killing me slowly. Is it the most amazing thing ever? Perhaps.

Shark Jaw Necklace. It's on'y a partial jaw. It can't eat you.




And of course, this post would not be complete without a mention of this cinematic classic:

So take a leap, swim into the fear, eat all of the little things (like, candy, not people... ya big weirdo), let your pearly whites shine at each other, maybe watch Sharknado, and try not to bite.

Go forth, and live every week like it's Shark Week!!!

XO,

Ash.

The Thaw

I've been busy with all kinds of living, hibernating, and magic making. But tomorrow is the first day of Spring, and it's time to write again!

Winter, you were a crazy, wonderful, frigid ass bitch. Now gtfo, xoxo.
(It snowed 4,000 inches this day.)

The snow has melted.

Have you ever looked at a sidewalk square and thought, "this is the single greatest thing I've ever seen!"? I love it-- bootprints and gum splotches and cracks where sand peeks through -- because its appearance means the most exciting thing ever: WINTER IS FINALLY FREAKIN' OVER. Yay!

To give dues, this winter was actually  awesome. It was so full, and busy, and happy, and gray. Cold as balls, but love-filled; arctic, but impressive. It was spotted with trips down to the stunning park where M & I are going to throw a party in which we consume questionable amounts of steak and martinis and then try to dance, and also get married (OH MY GOD). Having a beautiful respite in winter, when one finds herself in a city turned charcoal-sludge-gray by its daily motion, is seriously nourishing. It's amazing to visit a place with signs of life available to peruse. I love you, eagles & trees!

What really made this winter bearable: THESE BOOTS!!!!!!
Also this winter: I developed an exclamation point overuse issue.

My other getaway: giving a tiki party for some of my very favorite people on the planet, and drinking out of pineapple cups. Which, let's be real, just because Tiki Time is over doesn't mean I have not been drinking out of them still. Can you blame me? That shit is multi-seasonal.

You guys, drinking out of these makes everything so much better. IT JUST DOES.

There were snowstorms that pounded, monolith heaps of slush formed at the roadside, about 9 billion tons of snow buried my very tiny car. The shit show that is "dibs" littered the often unsuitable parking spaces in our neck of the woods with lawn chairs, sawhorses, neon carnival toys, TVs from the early 90s, and terrifying holiday decorations. During a 19" snowfall from which we were all warned to keep indoors, we trekked to a doughnut shop and found it brimming (WINTER CAN'T STOP DOUGHNUTS). Every time I got stuck in the snow, someone stepped up to help me out. I love this city.

#chiberiaproblems

Other things that rocked this winter: my coat. I love you, coat. But not as much as I love the fact that I SAW GRASS TODAY!  I also got my hair stuck in, like, 3 trees (congratulations to anyone who witnessed this). So maybe I forgot what it's like to be tall without a hood on. I am not complaining. What's a couple of branches tangled with my dome-piece next to WINTER FOREVER?

I loved you, winter in Chicago, full of wedding-planning and working and laughing and septum-piercing and adventuring and freaking out that the snow might never go away because OHMYGAWD it kept falling, and honeymoon booking, and wine drinking, and house re-decorating, and plant not-killing (this is a really big deal!), and dreaming, and freezing, and blogging a little at work, and laughing a whole hell of a lot. But one more day in the negatives, and I would've been taking my pasty ass to Barcelona until further notice.

Places I will actually be taking my pasty ass: Puerto Rico (yay honeymoon)!!! Because rainforest. And because ocean. And more importantly, because being lazy as hell on a rooftop with M. and soaking up some much needed sunshine. 

Heelllooooo Spring!!! 

Here's to packing away the winter coats, figuring out transitional dressing, piling on the pastels, and rolling in endless meadows of glorious flowers (because that's what's going to happen now, right?). 

It's good to be back. <3

Kisses, chickens!

-Ash

Royal Jewels

I have had the feeling of a phantom ring on my finger for a little over a week. My engagement ring, as I trotted off to New Orleans, stayed behind for a little TLC (with the most amazing bench jeweler around). I wore another in its place, but every time I looked down at my finger I got a little sad. It just wasn't exciting enough. I'm obnoxiously, stupidly, helplessly, annoyingly in love with my engagement ring. It is like my pointy, sparkly, really old child. Now you know. 

And today... I got it back! Hallelu!!! 

Just totally fucking rad. M. did the best job ever. Reunited and it feeeeels sooo gooooood!           

I get lost staring into this thing. 

Aaaaand very fitting, because today is vintage wedding dress shopping day! Yeehaw. 

Sidenote: So far wedding dress shopping has made me want to turn all bridezilla and throw tiaras or whatever. It's a strangely uncomfortable thing to have people try to liquor you up with champagne and force all kinds of fussy, scratchy, sometimes terrifying garments over your head. Standing in my skivvies, bridal attendant pawing at me and getting zippers caught in my hair because everything gets caught in my damn hair, feeling weirdly vulnerable and totally not into it... That was my first bridal gown outing. And it blew hard. It was more like being cornered in a bar by the one really pushy drunk dude who is sure he can convince you you just don't know that you really do want to be dragged, caveman-like, back to his douche-pad... Today-- today will be different. Today I'm buzzing for no reason at all. End rant.

Anyway, when I was down in the good ole Big Easy (which is hands-down my favorite jewelry shopping city, because there's nothing like seeing the fantabulous estate pieces fallen from the tree of Old Southern Money... Plus OMG flea markets...), I found myself pining a bit for what felt like my missing finger. And I happened upon Royal St...

And then upon rows and rows of storefronts like this one...

ALL OF YOU! COME HOME WITH ME!

And then upon the most unique vintage ring I've seen in years (besides, of course, my kite-shaped lover)...

I have freakishly long ET fingers, and this is one of those pieces of jewelry that makes them seem totally necessary. By this logic, this ring should stay on my finger like, I dunno... permanently.I've never seen anything quite like it.

Art Deco Platinum ring with old mine cut center Diamond (1.10 ct, G/H, SI) with the cutest little culet, Emerald pears, and calibre cut Sapphires. I kept this on my finger for what was probably an uncomfortable amount of time for pretty much everyone involved. It was great.

I also got to play with this mutha trucka...

Sweet mother of God, there is just no way to depict how stunning this guy is in person. So, just go to New Orleans, and go to here.

Art Deco Platinum Diamond and Sapphire stunnah, 3.75 cttw.

And then THIS happened:

150 carats of antique cut diamonds in rich 22k Gold, from the magical land of (antique) Fred Leighton. This actually made my heart flutter. Probably because it's haunted by some freaking royal ass ghosts. Because, come on. COME ON. You're killin' me, Smalls...

Photos just can't touch this one. 

Thanks for letting me come and play dress up, fine folks at Valobra! Made my day. 

But hey, if (you are crazy and) don't like looking at stunning pieces of wearable art history, you want to see some seriously unique (and not in the price range of above life-changing bib of diamonds) jewels, or you just really fucking love flea markets like I do... To the French Market with you! 

I bought this Bone & Agate bangle at the market, once upon a time in another life. It's one of my very favorite pieces in my jewelry collection. Also, it's kinda heavy, so it's the perfect accessory to wear if you're out wandering through alleys alone at night. If you're into that kind of thing.
You do you. 

When I lived in NOLA, I found every excuse that I could to whoops suddenly end up strolling the booths of awesomeness at the end of the French Market. 

How to get there: 

1. Eat a beignet.

2. Buy some frozen booze-to-go.

3. Follow the smell of Alligator on a stick (which is mouthgasmic).

4. Roll on through. 

Or, I dunno, ask a local. I'm sure there are other routes.  

This time around, I picked up this ginormous Lapis Lazuli cuff (...which makes me feel like I could get into some Xena, Warrior Princess shit. Or be on Game of Thrones, which I have never actually seen an episode of, but their costume pros must have the greatest job.) --

Yeah, really looks like it's about to bust out some secret powers. It's kind of distracting-- really hard not to just stare at it like a goon while it's on my arm. Also, prices in the market are amazeballs. Go there. Said market is also the reason there is currently an Alligator head on my mantel.

Having returned home now, from my vintage wedding dress adventure, I am SUPER FUCKING EXCITED. Not only did the awesome gal who helped me not rush me for a second or make me feel like a freaking loose meat sandwich at a white trash garden party, I FOUND MY DRESSSSSSSS! I cried like a little bitch. It was beautiful. I could not be more thrilled about it. Vintage for the win!

Now, I can't wait to pick out my jewels! 

Keep on sparklin', chickens. 

-Ash

Mint is the new everything.

Random cut-offs I made... Like these
Cami
Sandals with Wings
Bobbi Brown Art Stick -- Harlow Red

People close to me will tell you that I am crazysauce for Mint green. From its pale sage beginnings to its seafoam heights, the spectrum is one of my very favorites. I'm all up in that spectrum. ALL up in it. I wore mint to not one, but two proms. I've been nursing a pair of mint Cindy Says kitten heels for like 10 years (BRING 'EM BACK!) that are starting to lose very relevant parts of their bodies. I consider it a neutral. Like denim. Or leopard. Or gold. And also I guess black.

I'm even marinating on the idea of a mint wedding gown. Gown or not, I'm sure the wedding will be mint-y. M. approves.

Maybe that's the reason I've always been so taken with the city of New Orleans? There is a mint detail in just about every corner. I'm totally on board. I love.

Walls...

Courtyards...

Facades...

Even the Fiats were mint :)

Doors...

The ceiling of Cathedral - Basilica St. Louis...

Details...

Ornate Entryways...

***

Let me come clean, for a minute: I am a sunglasses addict. I feel that the sellers of beautiful eyewear should have a hotline posted on every wall (...like those plastered about at the casino my grandparents like to take me to, sometimes, just for a quick go after breakfast on a Tuesday. For the record, my grandparents are the coolest people ever. Inarguably.). "If you suspect that you may have a problem, please call..."

But... I probably would not call. That's no fun. Then I'd have to get into it with the shoe problem, the entomology fascination, the soul-stirring book thing, et cetera. Not to mention jewelry. Who has the time?

Have you ever searched for an item, and found yourself on a personal fashion odyssey? Since I was a kid, I've thumbed through vintage images like these...

Hello, delicious glasses. Let's be friends. 

I'm into it. Even the wacky, unibrow flamingo thing glasses on the left.
I don't get it, but I still approve. 

...and fallen deeply in love with (the currently super trendy, which, awesome, because yay for options) cateye sunnie.

Noteworthy: I was always super into the idea of wearing poodle skirts as a kiddo, too. I watched Grease a lot.

Also, John Travolta's hair. 

Last week, in New Orleans, I stumbled upon an adorable boutique in the French Quarter (with equally adorable, helpful, and totally unpretentious sales associates, which is how ALL sales folk should be, just saying...) called Hemline (apparently there are a few in the South, but we Yanks are sorely missing their existence).  I was in search of my current fashion white whale (a whole different animal, and a blog post to come, involving the GREATEST BOOTIES EVER), having nearly forgotten about my longing for mint cateyes altogether. For the moment, at least. The lovely Laura greeted me with a bright smile, we talked NOLA fashion a bit, and then OH MY GOD there they were.

Krewe Monroe Glasses in Matte Seafoam

So this is all well and good, but now I am in love with these, too. THANKS A LOT, KREWE.

Here is the literal play by play:
I'm standing in the corner of this store, browsing adorable tops which I felt way too summer-gross to try on, and then all of a sudden the roof was torn away by some sort of otherworldly beings, which proceeded to shine a light upon a small display of glinting, angular objects. And I'm sure there was music playing, and the original cast of Brigadoon was wrapping the showroom in a soft serenade of "Till There Was You." And then I saw them. BAM. That is almost definitely the way it went down.

OH HAI GREATEST SUNGLASSES EVER!

I love them. I love them. I love them!

Also, they are designed in New Orleans (by Krewe). And they are (I am told...?) made in New Orleans. And locally inspired and manufactured ANYTHING is my complete and utter JAM.

Does it make sense to wear them at work? I might. And then I'll just tell all of my clients that I have to, because the diamonds are blinding me.

(I work with the jewelries.)

So, I put them on, and could not leave the store without them, and there ya go. One white whale down, one to go (I will find you, booties!). Who am I kidding. There are like... 700 to go. But, hey, "One day at a time," my lovely mother always says.

Then, as M. and I explored the city that day, I got all hammy for the cammy. (Yes. I really just said that... I know.)

Loving the fact that my shirt isn't touching me, and my glasses are the bees knees. 

Really into my shoes, at this moment. 

Working my corner, bahahaha... Dear God I love this city. 

Delirious and hot and acting a fool. 

Sometimes you find that one little something, be it a pair of shoes or a perfect whiskey or a painting, and it makes the puzzle of life feel a bit more properly put together. And even though that one little something is just a thing at its bones, it means worlds within worlds within a box/a bottle/a vision to you. That's what counts. No shame in chasing something that makes you feel like Ryan Gosling is at the finish line.

There is always a thrill in the chase... But, oh, what you find in the catch! :)

Hugs and Kisses and Minty Fresh Goodness.

-Ash

Balls.

I wore this guy a couple days ago, and so many people stopped me on the street to compliment me on my balls (look closely... these silky shorts are hemmed with tiny pom poms). I can't think of another time I've heard so much talk about balls from total strangers... Except at the drag show I went to later that night, where *ball* talk abounded. 

Greatest Romper Ever.

Black Sandals I Pretend Are NOT Flip Flops...

I'm back in Chicago (I am mostly happy to be home-- family/puppies/neighbors/friends/charming nasal speech patterns/my lovely neighborhood and my lovely slice of the city...), but the South has followed me. I'm sitting in a cafe ( near the window, on the floor, on pillows, like a dirty hippie, which I'm pretty happy about), and even though the joint is washed in bright colors suggestive of a journey to Ashram, peddles Indonesian baubles and artisan-made soaps steps from its juice bar, and vibrates bohemian, Lynrd Skynrd is playing. Has been for the twenty minutes I've been here. And I'm missing New Orleans, but this place touts itself as a place for travelers. Maybe it will help.

I order tea and nachos. Um, that's what travelers eat, right? Full disclosure, this is my third go at a pile of nachos in two days, and I am a fucking nacho champion. Just saying. 

Missing the crap out of our little pink house... WHY GOD WHYYYY?!

Rain is falling now, unforgivably down the face of our sweet waitress, who's serving the jag-offs that insist she cater to their desires to exist just outside the reach of the deluge. They, covered and dry; she, left to the elements and handling it like a champ. Beyond the awning the rainfall has grown into rivers at the curbside.

I'm thinking of just a couple days ago: hot sun slapping my back as I wandered through the towering graves of a beautiful New Orleans cemetery. I'm remembering the absolute liberation I felt (even though it was hot as devil ass, which in NOLA in late July is a cold front) wearing this:

Shortly hereafter, I was approached by a kindly chick who offered me a tube of sunscreen because HOLY FUCK YOU GONNA BURN LITTLE GIRL! I'm not even a true redhead, guys. But my skin is totally ginger skin. Knock it off, skinz. Also, thank you, sunscreen lady!

Note the many X's and offerings, attempts at appeal to the favor of this passed Voodoo priestess.

They call these cemeteries "Cities of the Dead," but they couldn't feel more alive, somehow. Alive with regal palm trees thrusting themselves up in between tombs, swift scuttling lizards dancing about the vines at the bases of graves, mossy green flora fanning itself through the vacant spaces in burial structures, and the stories of tour guides bringing the deceased into being... again, and again, and again. Oh! And, also, this hat. 

The perfect thing to wear when you don't want anything to touch you because holy heat, or when you want to feel pretty awesome about the fact that your boobs are tiny, because otherwise I don't know how one might sport such a thang. This not a dig at you, big-tittied mommas, I still envy all your curves and edges, just like John Legend. Whatever, Chrissy Teigen. 

See, look at him, all falling in love with you and whatnot.

***

Freebird plays. The couple next to me (skinny jeans, ironic 90s tees, duplicate haircuts),
She to him: Oh! Isn't this your favorite song?
His reply: Um, no. That must be your other boyfriend.

Nachos: gone. Tea: a swig or so left.

The pillows I'm seated on are starting to feel lumpy and I can't find a polite way to sink my weight into them. The table to my right is occupied by two ladies about my age -- one, a patient listener; the other, OH MY GOD STOP BITCHING ABOUT YOUR CRAMPS (She's been reading the transcripts of some text message communication for about a hundred years, now). Please? I'm trying to digest nachos, over here. And it's kind of hard work. And I'm trying to meditate on how fantastic it was to see the (supposed, at least) tomb of Marie Laveau (for those who are not into creepy shit or history, Marie Laveau was a lauded Creole practitioner of Voodoo who helped to drive the practice, like a nail, into the foundation of the city's culture).

I'm not mad, for serious. It's just way too hot to move my face muscles. 

I would like to submit a formal request that should I die, which I plan never to do, that those who come to pay their respects bring equal amounts flowers and jewelry. Mardi Gras beads: totally acceptable. It is what it is. Don't care how ya bury me. Just appreciate that I'm probably haunting you if this request goes unmet. 

I'm trying to convince M. that a move to New Orleans is inevitable. If I could just take a boat ride through a swamp once a month, have tremendous live music bouncing off of me from every angle on the daily, and be surrounded by technicolor buildings and people, I think I would be quite satisfied. Once upon a time, I lived in NOLA. I played the parts of singer in a band, photographer's assistant, songwriter, and delinquent opera student. Having been back now, older and wiser (and mostly just not 19 anymore), the place is more invigorating than ever. Perhaps I am simply on a vacation high. I mean, I've heard people in such a stupor sing the praises of all manner of shit towns. Anyway, more to come on all of that. 

So, did you book your tickets yet? Where are you going? We're thinking New Mexico, next (I'm not sure why, but hey, when the call is there...). Then a European extravaganza (which must include  the pools of Sorrento, and every possible beautiful thing, obviously), an Indian jaunt, and maybe some Shamanic adventure through Peru. All of the reaches. ALL OF THEM. 

And a honeymoon in there, somewhere.

Dear Voodoo,

Please help?

Love and love and love. 

-Ash